Eli Conley
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Lyrics


​searching for what's true

All Songs © 2023 Eli Conley (BMI)

Making Something New
​
Some afternoons the words come easy
Some days they all sound wrong to me
Sometimes the notes fall out exactly where I want them
But I often chase them down for weeks
So when I face the empty pages
I try to trust the mystery
I’ve spent long hours circling spirits
Come back with bruises on my knees 

I don’t know why I need to do this
To keep on searching for what’s true
I only know that when I stop I ache
So I keep making something new

I love trans folks with all my being
We paint our lives in vibrant hues
Scribble outside the lines we’re given 
And we make our own damn dancing shoes

I don’t know why we need to do this
To keep on searching for what’s true
I only know that when I stop I ache
So I keep making something new

Finding beauty in the wreckage
Making meaning of the grief
When we tell our stories right we find release

I don’t know why we need to do this
To keep on searching for what’s true
I only know that when I stop I ache
So I keep making something new
Making something new

My Mama is a Shining Light

My mom was at the organ under Jesus’ fiery body
She raised us to love God and to do right
She would open up her mouth and all the high notes would spill out
My mama is a shining light

My mama stretched her arms out and she held me to her chest
She whispered to me softly in the night
That Monica, my choir director, would be moving in
My mom said “she’s my shining light”

And oh I looked at Jesus on the wall
And wondered what he thought

The school bus came next morning and I clutched my stuffy bear
The kids from church they would not meet my eye
I took a breath and stood right up, my tears all running down
I said my mom has spent all of her life here in this town
As far as I’m concerned I think my mom should wear a crown
My mama is a shining light
My mama is a shining light

Alone
I am hungry for some company
And I have no idea how long I’ll wait
To touch another friend or lover
Ain’t nobody knows just how long this will take
I try to focus on the positive
Still I wonder just how long I will live

Alone
Alone
Alone
Alone


I go out walking, rain is dropping
On my head it almost feels like a caress
I call up Linda in West Virginia
She is tucking Joe and Laila into bed
I try to catch her in the hour she’s got
We make love across the lines, pretend we’re not


Alone
Alone
Alone

Every couple of days
I take a drive around the neighborhood
There are people who wave
I say hello, oh yes I try to be good
But this skin longs for touch
I never knew how much until I lost it

I am tired of the bullshit
That these politicians think we wanna hear
They blame another and run for cover
While we’re trying just to live out all our years
Now I worry every time that I cough
If I get sick I will not be better off


Alone
Alone
Alone
Alone

We Are Sailing

We broke the atmosphere an hour ago
The earth is falling fast below
I look over at you, you’ve got the same look too
I wonder will it be like this, two astronauts who long to kiss?


We are sailing across the stars across the sky
We are together, you and I, could we find love?
We are sailing across the stars across the moon
So close together in this room, could we find love?
We are sailing

Sometimes we let ourselves go floating free
And you come swimming up to me
We look down at the earth, so full of joy and hurt
And wonder if we shouldn’t stay
Here on our own, out of the fray


Sailing across the stars across the sky
We are together, you and I, and we found love
We are sailing across the stars across the moon
So close together in this room and we found love
We are sailing

And if we have to fix the satellite
I think we’ll get it right
I had a dream last night

One day we’ll fly back home through all the clouds
Splash down at sea and look around
Take our first breath of air while we are lying there
I’ll wrap my arms around your chest
And go outside to greet the press


Sailing across the stars across the sky
We are together, you and I, and we found love
We are sailing across the stars across the moon
So close together in this room and we found love
We are sailing


I Don’t Wanna Hurt

I know it will take time to heal my wounds
But I wish it were sooner cause I’m in pain
I know that everybody’s got an answer
An uncle who had cancer till magic came
But I have tried all of the doctors folks suggest
So now I think it’s time to let my body rest


I don’t wanna hurt anymore
I don’t wanna hurt
I don’t wanna hurt anymore
I don’t wanna hurt


I play guitar and feel the sharp wave comin’
Soon my hands are hummin’ with this ache
I go right on because these songs are not a choice
If I don’t use my voice I might just break
And so I keep on muscling through and I ignore
That every minute that I spend leaves me more sore


I don’t wanna hurt anymore
I don’t wanna hurt
I don’t wanna hurt anymore
I don’t wanna hurt


I still remember how it felt when I was young
Hard not to wonder if this means that I am done


I’m trying to let myself get quiet
And listen to the silence of the dirt
When I do I hear that I don’t have to worry
But if I try to hurry it won’t work
And so I listen to the way my body feels    
While I keep searching for the ways that I can heal

I don’t wanna hurt anymore
I don’t wanna hurt
I don’t wanna hurt anymore
I don’t wanna hurt anymore

All Right
I was all right
Till you came by to tell me you were gone
Now all that I can do is sing sad songs
Try to carry on    


Thought we were holding tight
But you’d been lying in his arms for months
You could have told me baby just the once
I mighta’ had some hunch


I don’t need to know what his name is
I have heard all I can hear
I can’t get back these years


You used to tell me
That I was like no one you’d ever met
You wanted all of me that you could get
Now there’s nothing left


I don’t need to know where you met him
But if I can ask one thing
What did you think this would bring?
    
If you had told me you were lonely
I would have listened
But now it’s too late and I see no way
Back to forgiveness


But you ain’t asking that
In fact your heart left a long time ago
And if I’m honest part of me did know
I felt you go


I don’t need to know where you’re going
But if you come back this way
There’ll be nothing left to say

Hey That’s Me
There may come a time when your body don’t feel easy
And in order to be free it has to change
There may come a time when your gender it just fractures
And you have to take some action, rearrange
If it's that time you've got to tell 'em who you are
When you've been asking every star that they would see


Hey that's me! That's me
Hey that's who I hoped I'd be
I've been dreaming that the world would finally see
Hey that's me


There may come a time when your voice is not so faithful
And you cannot sing a mouthful of what you need
There may come a time when your songs will feel too heavy
And your breath is too unsteady for the deed
If it's that time you've got to find some way to sing
Though every single thing in you disagrees


Hey that's me! That's me
Hey that's how I've tried to be
I've been dreaming that the world would finally see


That who I am today is made up of the me's I stripped away


There may come a time when your wrinkles are like spiders
And they keep on getting wider in the sun
There may come a time when you find out you're an elder
So you hold out your umbrella for the young


Hey that's me! That's me
Hey that's how I hope I'll be
I've been dreaming that someday we'll all be free
Hey that’s me

I Don’t Know
I woke up Monday and I didn’t check the news
Hardly seems to matter anymore
I fall so easily into the gloom and doom
My back and shoulders feeling sore
I know that that’s just what they want
They jibe and bully, scream and taunt
But what am I supposed to do?


Hey I don’t know
I keep on walking in the sun trying to unfurl
How to hold the deep injustice in this world
Hey I don’t know
Hey I don’t know


I go out wandering in the woods to breathe the air
The eucalyptus dropping leaves
I lay beside an oak and catch it in my stare
I wonder if a forest grieves
For what it feels is yet to come
The planet warming in the sun
And what is there for it to do?


Hey I don’t know
I keep on walking in the sun trying to unfurl
How to hold the deep injustice in this world
Hey I don’t know
Hey I don’t know


And there’s nobody on the way to save us
Yeah there’s nobody on the way


I watch the evening gather gold into the trees
The clouds turn purple, red, and pink
I know the colors come from ashes on the breeze
But it’s still beautiful, I think
I’m gonna keep on making jokes
I’m gonna march with other folks
And try to trust that we’ll get through
I guess that’s all that we can do


Hey I don’t know
I keep on walking in the sun trying to unfurl
How to hold the deep injustice in this world
Hey I don’t know
Hey I don’t know


I Miss You
You said you wanted to die
We said we want you to live
But you were near 95
And we were just selfish kids
And you were trying to be real
I can’t imagine just how hard that was to do
I miss you


You said you’d lived long enough
And you were ready to go
You did your crosswords at noon
Then fell asleep to your shows
You were so tired of that screen
I can’t imagine just how hard it was for you
Still I miss you


Everybody knows that death will come to claim them in the end        
But I do suppose for you he was a long awaited friend


When it was nearing the time
I hope your heart still felt clear
And that the call of beyond
Was a mercy to hear
Cause you were finally free
I can’t imagine what it felt like passing through
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you

We Keep Each Other Safe


It’s not enough to be not racist
We gotta be anti-racist
And link up with the millions of people of color longing to be free
From this culture of death
Our white ancestors left
Find our humanity


And then get rid of the cop on the block
Get rid of the cop in our head and our heart
We’ll be so much better off
When we keep each other safe


Now imagine this
Somebody breaks in your house and they steal your stuff
Cause they needed money to feed their kids and they can’t find a job
So a community safety team
Finds out what they need
And they help them find a good job
And they apologize and pay you back every cent


We can get rid of the cop on the block
Get rid of the cop in our head and our heart
We’ll be so much better off
When we keep each other safe


Does this sound totally impossible?
Like a science fiction dream
Well that’s what they said about slavery and ending Jim Crow
The institutions our ancestors made
Can be un-made if we make it so!


And we get rid of the cop on the block
Get rid of the cop in our head and our heart
We’ll be so much better off
When we keep each other safe
And we get rid of the cop on the block
Get rid of the cop in our head and our heart
We’ll be so much better off
When we keep each other safe


Let Them See Me
By Eli Conley & Pamela Machala


Gotta put on a full face of makeup
Gotta match my earrings to belt
I gotta style my hair just right, squeeze into heels that feel so tight
I gotta be better than myself

I scroll my phone while making breakfast
Perfect pictures flashing by
I choose a filter for my post, I pick the one that hides the most
Trying to look better than myself


Don’t let them see me
Cause I don’t think that I would measure up
Don’t let them see me
Cause being me is never quite enough

I sit down at the table
With my notebook and my pen
If I write what’s on my heart, will people care about my art?
Wish I could be better than myself


Can I let them see me?
When I don’t think that I would measure up
Can I let them see me?
Cause being me is never quite enough

What if I died and no one ever saw me?
Would I have been here at all?
What if the cost of staying hidden is greater than the risk?
Only the folks who never fly never fall


If I let them see me
What if I measure up?
Wanna let them see me
Cause being me is actually enough
Being me is actually enough​


We Will Show Up
By Eli Conley & Talia Cooper
This song was inspired by the Movement for Black Lives' call to #DefendBlackLives #DefundThePolice and #InvestInBlackFutures.
It is meant to be taught, sung, and shared. Please spread it widely.


Chorus:
We will show up (We will show up)
We will not hide (We will not hide)
We will show up cause we’ve got justice* on our mind                         *freedom, abolition, love, liberation

Verses:
We feel the pain, we feel the rage
We will not numb ourselves, we will not look away

Though we are scared,  we will be brave
We will be bold, cause we know Black lives are at stake

We won’t get stuck in guilt or shame
Yes we will mourn, and we’ll give space for our heartbreak 

And as we grow we’ll make mistakes
We’ll help each other learn, we know that’s what it takes

We have our children by our side 
And all the ancestors, they both will be our guide

So here we are with all our heart
In this together knowing we will do our part 

We will keep on, we will stay in
For the long haul, cause we believe that we will win​

Strong and Tender, 2017

Picture
All Songs © 2017 Eli Conley, BMI

How Do We Know

Every morning you wake up
You make the toast and brew the tea
You pet the cat and keep her quiet
So she will not wake me 


How do we know when it’s time to seal the deal?
How do we know when it’s time to take all the things we feel and make it real?
How do we know? Oh...


At night we go out on the roof
And watch the stars as they appear
And I’ll admit I’ve looked for proof
That love can still work out 
I’ve tried to let go doubt and fear


How do we know when it’s time to seal the deal?
How do we know when it’s time to take all the things we feel and make it real?
How do we know? Oh...


Four years ago you drew some diamonds
Geometric, pen and ink, you gave them to me
And then this spring you made a ring, a little silver thing
And we told ourselves it meant nothing, oh no


In truth, I’ve never cared for marriage
But I hoped we’d settle down
I’ll take the roses and the carriage
But not the paperwork
We don’t need no clerk downtown


I think I know that it’s time to seal the deal
I think I know that it’s time to take all the things I feel and kneel
I think I know, Oh...


​
Lucky Star

We were walking on a hillside, we had just met in the bar
When you pointed at Orion and said that one would be ours
And I gazed at you in wonder as you pulled me to your car
So I made a wish upon our lucky star


When I woke up that next morning you had left a note for me
In the middle of your pillow, where your head was supposed to be
It said “Billy, oh I love you, but I’m married, I ain’t free
So remember me beneath our lucky star”


Now every night I go back to that goddamn bar
Now every night people laugh cause no one there knows who you are
So I go back up on that hill and ask the stars


I am out in east Kentucky chopping trees as thick as men
On a ridge that’s eighty miles from Abingdon where we first met
I am building us a cabin just in case we meet again
Cause I made that wish upon our lucky star
Do you ever wish upon our lucky star?


All That Ends


Maybe we’ll die of cancer
Or we’ll die of old age
Maybe we’ll go like a wrecking ball
We’ll drop dead in a rage
Maybe we’ll hold each other
till the sweet and solemn end
Maybe we’ll just give in


I don’t know ‘bout you, but I would love to see 85
I hope I can still drive but it’s all right if I can’t
I don’t know what you see
When you look at me that way

Are you looking at today or at tomorrow?
There’s always tomorrow


Maybe we’ll die of alcohol
Or World War III
Maybe the revolution’ll come
But they’ll put poison in our tea
The only thing I know for sure
Is when we go it’s not for good
Look for me out in the woods


I don’t know 'bout you, but I would love to see 75
Go out for a drive along the ocean
There’s always the ocean


Maybe the ozone’ll open up
and we’ll all go to our graves
Maybe we’ll end this mess we’re in
I believe we can still be saved
I’m not afraid of death anymore
Like I was when I was three
Cause all that ends with death is me


I don’t know ‘bout you, but I would love to see 65
I hope I have the drive to keep singing these songs
I don’t know what you see
When you look at me that way
Are you looking at today or at tomorrow?
There’s always tomorrow
Until we fade away



What I’m Worth

I bus the tables at Sam’s Pizza Place
Sometimes your kids ask when they see my face
Are you a girl, are you a boy?
I wish that I could say “Why yes I am”
“Matter of fact, I am a happy man”
But I don’t know what my boss would say if he found out

Don’t think you’ve met another man like me
Maybe you’ve seen a couple on TV
We all have to fight
For you to take us seriously


I’ve got a name, it’s not the one they gave at birth
I’ve got a name, don’t try to tell me what I’m worth


Stay in my room sometimes on Saturdays
And lie alone behind the lowered shades
Just read my novels, smoke cigarettes and stare out into space
I got a little dream I’ll chase someday
Drive out to Houston, someplace far away
And nobody there will know who I used to be


I’ve got a name, it’s not the one they gave at birth
I’ve got a name, don’t try to tell me what I’m worth


Each day I wake up and I’m still right here
Using the same damn license to buy beer
Cause it’s nine hundred dollars to change your name in Doylestown
But I am the man that I was meant to be
I think it’s time that you caught up to me
I won’t change myself because you dislike what you see


I’ve got a name, it’s not the one they gave at birth
I’ve got a name, don’t try to tell me what I’m worth
I’ve got a name, it’s not the one they gave at birth
I’ve got a name, don’t try to tell me what I’m worth



Broke Song

Maybe you get to a certain age and you get nice furniture
(What age is that?)
I haven’t got there yet, but I’ll let you know
My things are used or they’re particle board

From a place I’m loathe to name
And I’m damn ready for something steady
Wish money would call my name


It ain’t no joke being broke all the time
There’s no romance or hope
In the unemployment line
I’ve got five bucks the bank and

In my pocket just a dime
Hallelujah, what’s it to ya?
Back to the grind


Baby we’ve got a lotta love but our love won’t pay the rent
Our story’s old as mud and fresh as dew
It wasn’t us who made this bed
It was bankers, it was suits

But here we lay and we’ve got bills to pay
And the straps broke off our boots


It ain’t no joke being broke all the time
There’s no romance or hope
In the unemployment line
I’ve got five bucks in the bank and

In my pocket just a dime
Hallelujah, what’s it to ya?
Lord I think it’s by design
Hallelujah, what’s it to ya?


You know that I once dreamed it would be easy
That I’d grow up and the money it would flow
I wish that I’d get used to having little
But it ain’t so


I watch the birds as they fly along with no need for bank accounts
I know that humans too could do without that mess
Just think if we all raised the kids, grew the food and built our homes
And there weren’t no bosses
No more gains and losses
We would all feel less alone


It ain’t no joke being broke all the time
There’s no romance or hope
In the unemployment line
I’ve got five bucks in the bank and

In my pocket just a dime
Hallelujah, what’s it to ya?
Lord I think it’s by design
Hallelujah, what’s it to ya?
Back to the grind


Give It Up


Leave a note, make the call,
Walk on over, don’t stall
Say it’s over, that’s all
Give it up

Dear you said it your yourself 
He is hurting your health
All of us want to help
Give it up


When you leave you’ll be lonely
But that is the only way out of this mess that you’re in
You’re not bad, you’re not good
You have chopped all the wood
But your fire will not be rebuilt


When it’s done, you must leave
Try your best not to weep
Till you’re home in a heap
Give it up


When you leave you’ll be lonely
But that is the only way out of this mess that you’re in
You’re not bad, you’re not good
You have chopped all the wood
But your fire will not be rebuilt


Take a break, take a pill,
Take a bath if you will
There are times when you must
Give it up


Strong and Tender

Sometimes people say things about you
That are so damn far from true
There will be those who’ll believe them
But those folks lose out on you


And it’s so hard to remember
Yes it’s so hard to follow through
You must love yourself strong and tender
Let the people that you love hold tight to you


I take a walk by the cathedral
My belly’s empty as my mind
I hardly think of him at all now
Except when people are unkind


And it’s so hard to remember
Yes it’s so hard to follow through
You must love yourself strong and tender
Let the people that you love hold tight to you
Let the people that you love hold tight...


I know I hurt him and I’m sorry
Goddamn, he cut me to the bone
He tells his friends a different story
Than when we were alone


The cannon sounds on the horizon
The cannonball falls where I lay
He’s left no space for me to walk on
No way that I can have my say


And it’s so hard to remember
Yes it’s so hard to follow through
You must love yourself strong and tender
Let the people that you love hold tight to you
Let the people that you love hold tight to you

Get In My Own Way
​

I wrote it down — From 10 to noon
I’d sit at home and I’d write a tune
At 10 am I was checking e-mail
At 12 noon I was still derailed


So many ways that I get in my own way
So many ways that I get in my own way
So many ways that I get in my own way
So many ways that I get in my own way


At 1 o’clock I waited on a call
At 2 pm I’d heard nothing at all
At 3 o’clock my friend finally phoned
Cause he was in the Mountain Time Zone


Chorus

At 4 pm I needed a late lunch
At 4:30 well I got hunch
At 5 pm my baby would come home
And I can’t write when I’m not alone
No I can’t write when I’m not alone
I just can’t write when I’m not alone
No I can’t write when I’m not alone


Chorus

Well now it’s midnight and my love’s asleep
It’s seven hours till the cell phone goes beep beep, beep beep beep beep, beep beep
Crawl in the closet with the coats and shoes
Get an idea b
ut I start to snooze

Chorus

Strong
​

I dressed myself in black today
Without thinking why
Too many people who I love
Are watching people they love die
And every step they take

It feels so wrong wrong wrong
They’re almost gone


Everybody get together and we’re strong
Everybody get together and we’re strong
Everybody get together
We will always do it better

When we’re moving all together, pushing on
Everybody we are strong


Every day in this America
Another Black life is wiped out
At the hands of a policeman
Who thinks he knows without a doubt
That every breath they took
Well it was wrong, wrong, wrong
And now they’re gone


Everybody get together and we’re strong 
Everybody get together and we’re strong 
Everybody get together
We will always do it better 

When we’re moving all together, pushing on
Everybody we are strong


Oh the dead, make no noises
Yes, the dead they make no sound
But the living left behind them
Rend and thrash the air around
For all the cries we make
Oh death is long long long
And they’re still gone


Everybody get together and we’re strong 
Everybody get together and we’re strong 
Everybody get together
We will always do it better 

When we’re moving all together, pushing on
Everybody we are strong


The End
​

I know you’re angry, I know you’re sad
I know I’ve never lost my dad
I hope it’s a long time before I got through what you’re going through

The year you started seventh grade
He made you watch the pride parade
He said no boy of his would prance, you never did let yourself dance


But you tried to stand beside him while he faced it
There was nothing you could change or fix or plan
In the end you held his hand


He wrote his memoir that last year
And all the nurses came to hear
He didn’t mention you at all, you left to stand out in the hall


But you tried to stand beside him while he faced it
When there was nothing he could change or fix or plan
In the end you held his hand


He never liked you much
I wouldn’t blame you if you’d left him there without your touch


So feel the wind upon your face
And know you’re in the only place
That it is possible to be, you’ve gotta let your body grieve
​

Cause you tried to stand beside him while he faced it
When there nothing left to change or fix or plan
​In the end you held his hand 



All Songs © 2013 Eli Conley, BMI

At The Seams, 2013

Picture
When God Sets His Sights on You

Mary Ann waits tables nightly
Down at Jack’s on Highway Two
Her daughter Jean started acting strangely
She cut her hair, she’s wearing old men’s boots

Then at home they were getting dinner ready
Jean said she had something to tell
“I’ve started seeing someone pretty steady”
“And mom,” she said, “her name’s Danielle"

If you believe in the word of god, what are you gonna do
When god sets his sights on you?

Mary Ann stared at her daughter
She said “I taught you better, I am sure”
Now let’s get on our knees and pray out these demons
I can’t see my daughter anymore

Jean grabbed her coat and she set out running
Down to the river and the creaky bridge
Said her own prayer, sent it up to heaven
Opened up her mouth, and she did sing:

If you believe in the word of god, what are you gonna do
When god sets his sights on you?
If you believe in the word of god, what are you gonna do
When god sets his sights on you?

She’s got love to give, and she’s got a life to live

Jean spent all night staring at that river
a-splashing and a-racing off so far
the she grabbed her truck, her favorite kitten
her toothbrush, a couple of shirts and her mom’s guitar

She turned the key, flipped on the headlights
They blazed up against the autumn corn
Mary Ann’s face flickered in the doorway
Jean just drove off for Californ’

If you believe in the word of god, what are you gonna do
If you believe in the word of god, what are you gonna do
If you believe in the word of god, what are you gonna do
If you believe in the word of god, what are you gonna do
When god
When god
When god
When god sets his sights on you

Call You Out

It’s true I haven’t met you yet
But I can tell I’d like to make you sweat
Cause I have watched from afar
And I know just what you are

I’m gonna call you out
You’re gonna scream and shout
Cause I can see what you’re all about
I’m gonna call you out

You’re strong of arm and pure of heart
And I know things like to make you start
So as skin grazes skin
Won’t you please, let me in?

I’m gonna call out
You’re gonna scream and shout
Cause I can see what you’re all about

I am a hawk and you’re a hummingbird
Could this be foolishness, is this absurd?
Well mark my words, ooh

That when you fall I’ll kiss you sweet
And you’ll forget who tripped your feet
As we lie on the ground
there’ll be birds all around

I went and called you out
You’re gonna scream and shout
Cause I can see what you’re all about
I’m gonna call you out

Dry As Sin

They’re building prisons in Appalachia, where my family comes from
To keep the brown folks from the city, far away from their homes
And the only other job you can find
Is in the dregs of the old coal mine

Chorus:
They’re building coal plants in Virginia again
And prisons full of thousands of Black and brown men
And guards all make maximum wage at that pen
And the coal dust coats everyone’s lungs
Dry as sin

Senator Byrd put stock in a lie
Coal will be clean and donkeys will fly
Now mountains that stretched from the creek to the clouds
Are craters of dirt, wide gaping mouths

Chorus

When the rain rolls off             
The bare mountain tops
Creeks turn to sludge and the fish flop on the moss

We are never too far from the valley of death
And these holes in the hills bring us all closer yet
Name each white man a cop, each brown man a thief
And you’ve paved every back road with certainmost grief

Chorus

I Found You

Hey rock that cradle, hey ring that bell
I found a man, who loves me well well well
And I was searchin’ searchin’ searchin’
For that good lovin’ man
Yes I was flirtin’ flirtin’ flirtin’
But no one does me like he can

Chorus:
Well I found you right where you’d always been          
I found you, the one who’d been the best of friends
Just as I was getting ready to give in         
I found you, you

No fame nor fortune could fuel my soul
I’ve got a hunger that won’t let go go go
The only thing that feeds my hunger
Is love from you, you love me true
And no I don’t believe in always
But I believe in me and you

Chorus

Here comes the train and it’s a long one
They wrote our names there on the side
I think I’ll ride it till it’s all done
And then say thank you for the ride

Chorus

What is it about me?

Why don’t you do me like you do me when you do me in my dreams?
Cause if you do me like you done me I’d be bursting at my seams
Yeah it’s high time I found a man who gives it like I want it
I can dish it out as well as take it, yeah I’ll make it worth your while

Chorus:
What is it about me that attracts these quiet shy types?
Heaven knows I’m angry and insensitive, I spit and chew and bite
What is it about me?

Why don’t you come around more often, why don’t you stay when you have come?
I crave a moving violation, violate me with your tongue
I know handfuls of boys who’d love to watch me in my underwear
But when you’re in my bed you roll away as if I wasn’t even there

Chorus

So here I am on highway five
Your seat is empty as I drive
Don’t need no man to tell me I’m
The prettiest, prettiest boy alive

I’m gonna do me like you do me when you do me in my dreams
Cause if I do me like you done me I’ll be bursting at my seams
Yeah it’s high time I found a man who gives it like I want it
I can dish it out as well as take it, yeah I’ll make it worth my while
What is it about me?

Draw the Line

Wish I could write you a letter
Of all the things I coulda done better
And all the hopes I have for you now that you’re free

It feels like spring in February
And I am not the kind of fairy
Who makes to move like I can carry this sadness so easily

Chorus:
Cause I got all this time
And you are always on my mind
So heaven help me draw the line
That you ain’t mine

Wish there was some way I could say
I never meant it to end this way
You pulled the trigger and I swayed to meet the music

But now it’s all been done
Whether the battle’s lost or the battle’s won
It’s time to empty out our guns and scrub ‘em till they shine

Chorus

How long how long how long till I get it right?
How long how long how long till I find the light?
How long how long how long till I sleep through the night without missing you?

Chorus

Siren Song

I rise in the early morning
And watch the ocean and the sun
At daybreak the sailors are yawning
They’re not expecting anyone
I know the days of storms are yet to be
Cause the blue horizon never stays with me

I got fever in my bones and blood between my teeth
For every ship that goes down in this blasted coral reef
Their souls are bundled up with mine
(I know) It’s just a matter of time
Till I cut this line

At first it was so easy
To while away the days and nights
Weaving my seaweed purses
Braving those endless seagull fights
I’ve found that as the days grow long
I tire of singing siren songs

Said I need to get on board this ship and sail away
Drink whiskey, wear a red dress and paint my face
I’ve had enough of salt and sand
I’ll give Poseidon the upper hand
I’m gonna join a band            

How many oceans must I cross to find the end of this?
Hey what’s the use of song if each man dies upon my kiss?
Is love a myth that has lived out its usefulness?

So now I sing a new song
Sling my guitar across me tight
The boys all sing along
My words have lost their deadly bite
But listen to the bass line creep
My music stands to make them weep

Now I got marrow in my bones and blood here in my veins
And every man who hears my song will rue his mother’s name
Their souls are bundled up with mine
You know it’s just a matter of time
Till I cut this line

Now I'm Doing Me

What made you have to do that?
It’s like you stabbed in the chest just to see if I’d bleed
You dropped me on your doorstep
And now you have the nerve to get on your knees
And beg and plead for one more chance
Well not under under any circumstance
Would I kiss your mouth again

We are over, get it through your fickle head
That we are over, go find some other fool instead
And I’ll do like I did before — You set me free
Now I’m doing me

I saw you at the party
All gussied and laughing with your friends
I tried to hold my head up
And wait until the spinning in my brain would end
I guess I had to see your face
There was no proper hiding place
But I wish I’d gone and left no trace

Cause we are over, I’ll get it through my fickle head
That we are over, I’ll find some other fool instead
And I’ll do like I did before — You set me free
Now I’m doing me
Now I’m doing me                    

The photos fade
The daisies rot
And in the end ourself is really all we’ve got

I’m walking down the road now
Instead of kissing your sweet face goodnight
I don’t know which way I’m headed
But I will know when it is right
So though I miss your yellow room
And the way you hold your fork and spoon
I’m gonna sing my own damn tune

That we are over, we’ll get it through our fickle heads
We are over, we’ll find some other fools instead
And I’ll do like I did before — You set me free
Now I’m doing me
Now I’m doing me
Now I’m doing me

Take It Slow

You’ve got me smelling roses
You’ve got me cleaning up my house
You knew just what I wanted
You filled me up, don’t let me down

There is more to life than falling in love
And there is more to love than letting go
Let’s take it slow

I see you in the papers
And in the rocky river banks
Your face pops up in movies
From Doris Day to young Tom Hanks

I had a lovely life before I met you
But something in your smile says not to let you go
Let’s take it slow

We all got a row to hoe
Let’s plant these seeds and watch ‘em grow
Let’s take it slow
​

All the Livelong Day, 2011

Picture
All Songs © 2011 Eli Conley, BMI

Pinocchio

I am not a real man, I'll tell you why
It's not the reason you are thinking of
Lean in close, I'll share with you a secret
No one is a real man at all
 
Chorus:
Pinocchio, you are a boy
it doesn't take no fairy blue
much less a therapist, three doctors and a knife
to cut your flesh and make you real
you are as real as dreams come true
I'm tired of tracing one straight line back through our lives
 
Let's crack up this geode they call boy and girl
to see what pretty stones that it elides
Kinda like this geode, there is more to us
than ever possibly could meet the eye
 
I think I've found a way to make it through
I'll let you in, I've got a tip or two
we get together, organize, it's true
We've got a lot of work to do
 
Chorus
 
I am not particularly interested
in being illegible for its own sake
I have been illegible to most everyone
Relative to that, manhood is cake
 
It feels much better to be seen each day
sometimes it's hard to keep the wolves at bay
who say forget who you were yesterday,
come out with only boys to play
 
Chorus
 
I am not a real man, I'll tell you why
It's not the reason you are thinking of
Lean in close, I'll share with you a secret
No one is a real man at all

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